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HOW TO RESPECT YOUR FEELINGS

by David Truman

Our God-given soul sensitivities are like road signs that warn us whenever we go astray, and point us back in the right direction. We may try to ignore the signs, hoping to find happiness pursuing our ego desires, but we can NEVER be happy until we learn to respect our feelings -- and adjust accordingly. So, if you long for true fulfillment, read this article, and learn to listen to your heart!

Have you noticed that when people feel uncomfortable with something they're doing, instead of taking their feelings as a sign that they ought to change their patterns, they may just tell themselves, "This shouldn't bother me" -- and keep on living the same way? It's like an alcoholic who's unhappy that he gets hangovers. He says, "I need to learn to drink without getting a hangover. What am I, a wimp?" So he keeps drinking and tries to force his poor body to adapt.

Or it's like a recently separated couple, both of whom are determined not to change their social patterns. They both keep showing up at the same places even though every time they see each other, it ties their guts in a knot.

People often make insensitive choices, and go on feeling miserable, guilty, and defensive. Despite the pain, they simply won't stop doing things that bother them terribly. That is silly -- and tragic.

Mood-altering lifestyles

The things we think and do affect us, that's inevitable. Yet people say, "I will live a different life, a better life; I will love and be a good person -- once I'm in a better mood." But what if things we're doing are keeping us from ever being in a better mood? We can't get happy and healthy while drinking alcohol to excess, and we can't get into a happy and healthy mood while living a selfish, unloving life.

This is one of the great tragedies of human life, as commonly lived: Most people are postponing -- often indefinitely -- doing the good things they'd need to do to feel truly happy. Year after year, life after life, their Mission Impossible goes on: the quest to be happy first -- before living right and well. It won't happen that way, folks, because it goes against the way human beings work.

Only WHEN we do what delights our soul, and quit doing what torments our soul, will we be in a good mood.

The method to this madness: the reinvention of self

Evidently, we want to do negative things and we want our self to like it. In wishing for that, whether we realize it or not, we're trying to get the Spirit to like the ways of the ego. But that will never happen -- it's Mission Impossible. I want to tell you a great secret that I've learned, something very deep about human nature:

We'd have to be an entirely DIFFERENT person, with different native responses, to be happy with the life ego has in mind.

This is what Mission Impossible is really about: trying to reinvent the self. And friends, the person we're trying to invent is a person who has no heart, no conscience. Because that is exactly what it would take to be okay with depressing things.

You see, the aspiration to be different than one is -- and thus be able to respond differently to life than how one naturally responds to it -- is the standard ego agenda. Specifically:

1. We don't want to react negatively to things that our soul hates,

And likewise, surprisingly enough:

2. We don't want to react positively to things that our soul loves.

We blame ourselves for being "weak" and "over-sensitive" when, inevitably, our negative habits bring us down. And we also hate how raw and vulnerable we feel whenever we fall in love, or feel strong desire. So you see, the egoic mentality is a complete rebellion against our true self-nature and its natural responses to practically everything -- both the good and the bad. But that rebellion can't succeed, because human sensitivities are real. Legitimate. Valid. Important. And unavoidable.

In reality . . .

It's fortunate that we can't make ourselves feel okay about stuff that's not okay, stuff that's bad for us, and bad for others.

And

It's wonderful that we can't stop ourselves from loving and caring and responding positively to truly good things.

Those things can't be changed, simply because we cannot uncreate what God created; we cannot make ourselves into the person our ego wants us to be. There are no "user-serviceable" parts at the level of human sensibilities to right and wrong, good and evil.

Real cause for happiness

Honestly, it would be terrible beyond belief if we could adjust certain realities to suit our fancy. If Mission Impossible could be fulfilled, people would naturally avoid positive things like love, and would naturally be attracted to negative things like stealing, hurting others, and being mean. Is that a world you'd really want to live in? That world would make no sense whatsoever!

If you can see what's wrong with that picture, you can see what's right about the world as it is. And yes -- that there's something truly wonderful about your own great sensitivity. So, go ahead -- accept it! Here's the way to start:

Take the same respect you show for OTHER PEOPLE'S feelings, and apply it to YOURSELF.

A transferable skill we'd be wise to transfer to ourselves

Fortunately, we know better than to treat other people's feelings as callously as we treat our own. We don't set people back, by pushing their buttons unnecessarily. But often, we set ourselves back by doing things and creating conditions in our lives that we abhor. That's pushing our own buttons!

For example, say you really hate clutter, yet you live in a messy space. So you're always reacting to the fact that your own house is too messy for your taste. It bothers you; it brings you down.

Why put yourself through that? Respect your own feelings! If you're willing to show consideration to someone else, can't you feel good about showing the same kindness to yourself? All you need to do is be humane, and take into account your own sensitivities.

Don't do the usual process of invoking those terrible "shoulds" -- "I should be able to do this; I should be able to handle that."

Don't hurt your natural, unavoidable feelings.

Don't violate your natural sensitivities.

Don't do the things you know will freak you out or depress you.

In short, don't do evil, when the fact of the matter is, you don't like evil -- and it makes you feel bad.

Instead, just be true to you. Be true to you in the heart -- true of the heart, and true to the heart. True to one and all: oneself, others, and God -- in true alignment with good and right. That's the way to respect your feelings.

If you be true to you, you will be true to all, because one thing that's true about you is this: you want to be true to all.