A "secret-but-social" Unification process can be done in ways that are not at all formal -- and which, as the word "secret" suggests, are not even noticeable to observers. This way, the Unification process can be integrated into daily interactions of everyday life to a significant extent -- and without making anyone self-conscious.
"Loving in secret" is the essential way to bring the practice of Unification into everyday life. It is also a way to make use of the resonance power of the social practice of Unification under circumstances that would otherwise make that difficult or impossible. (For example, if none of your friends are willing to consciously join you in this process; or, if you are not confident about doing the process with one or more others.)
An experience
"While visiting with my mom, I found that she was troubled by things that I couldn't help her with on an ordinary level, with any personal advice or direct feedback. Still, I wanted to help her in some way, so I gave her a "bubble bath" by extending my love silently to her, as a spherical hug of love and energy around her. We had a good conversation and she seemed relaxed even while telling me her troubles and eventually we went on to other subjects.
"Later she wrote to me that she'd enjoyed our "warm fuzzy" time together, and I was overjoyed to see that although she had been keenly feeling her troubles during our visit, what stood out to her was the feeling of warmth within our visit. That was certainly due to the bubble of love, that bath of attention and energy and care that she felt, and not from anything else that I did or said.
"Her letter was such a beautiful confirmation of the value of pure love, and how much less important it is to have the right answer, compared to loving itself."
Here are a couple of ways to love informally and in secret, using basic techniques of Unification:
1. On the phone. When you are talking to someone on the phone, or in person, give your heart. Give your tenderness, your feeling, your empathy, your consideration, your realness. Oh, what gifts those are whenever they are shared! Generate/feel the bubble* of love, and envelop the other person in it. (NOTE: JUST do it. Don't say anything about it. Certain kinds of attention and expressions of feeling may make many people feel self-conscious. If that happened, they would become less receptive to the love.)
* Bubble of love: the natural, spherical form of radiance, energy, and love in which we feel and commune with God and other human beings.
2. Thinking of someone. When you think of someone, love them in your soul, your heart, and your mind. Then when you see them, that feeling that you stored up for them will come out in some way. OR, they can feel it anyway, even if you don't directly express it. Even when you only SEE and FEEL their beauty and goodness, it will make them feel so much better.
Your thoughts about people ARE, or CAN BE, great gifts. You see, everyone FEELS what we think of them, so how you hold someone in your mind and in your heart has a huge effect on them. It is a great thing you can do to help them, to think beautiful things about who they are.
Thinking lovingly about someone is a gift you create in your mind, which you can then give later. It is like making a painting or a poem for someone, because you work on it in advance. It might take hours to make it, but surely, taking time to make a gift is PART of the giving! By thinking thoughts of loving and blessing for people, you are creating in yourself an attitude that WILL be supportive of them when you see them. It is actually supportive of them even BEFORE you see them.
An experience
"Through loving people in this way, I have seen so many changes take place I wouldn't have believed possible. Love has worked miracles in my house today. I 'worked on' loving my parents most of this day and by this evening they are more close to each other than I've seen them in years. They are appreciating each other for all that they are. It's as if the love that I purposely gave them today is growing and shining in their relationship with each other. I almost can't wait to get to school tomorrow and love all my friends in the same way."